Believing in Similarities

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​There are those of us, sitting in silence about the pain carried inside. The polarities of a planet, torn by fear, have us all spinning and off-kilter. It is even lonelier now, for those pain carriers amongst us; those who did not know how to connect before, are struggling even harder now to persist. There is a purpose of connection to an experience so human, that we are all here to participate in.  Yet, the polarities keep pulling us away from that precious connection.  That, in and of itself, is traumatic; for who are we, if not one another’s greatest resources?

Sources of one story say, “we need to fear one another”.  They warn that our differences are dangerous to one another, and have evidence to back up their claims.  All sides feel their own ‘rightness’.  Though, what is the benefit of being ‘right’ in a world so isolated and alienating? Is there a way for us to feel safe, and still find the places we are similar?  Is there a place where we can agree, for the sake of a greater world experience for more?

There is a therapeutic movement with a client, wherein their varying aspects of self can soften towards one another.  Within a given, single person are conflictual parts of self who are vying for energy. These parts of self, are each good and helpful in their own rights.  Yet, their motivations and ways of moving towards goals can be quite different. The therapy is successful when the client is able to maneuver these internal conflicts, from a more resourceful place; essentially, they soften towards themselves and find the places of agreement and similarity between their parts. 

Our communities are in conflictual states, with each person being an important part.  There are destructive ego states amongst us, who need so much to be seen and understood.  There are those of us holding the trauma and pain, for humanity, that will benefit greatly from feeling connected again. There are highly-functioning-apparently-normal people, who do not feel there is anything wrong, and who inadvertently proliferate the exile of others. The landscape is ripe for misunderstanding, leading to more trauma, isolation, and pain. 

Literally, the only thing we need to do is to start focusing on how we are similar to the people around us! If we can stop feeding the stories of polarity, healing can start to happen in our families and communities. If we are consistent enough, it can spread to larger and larger areas. I know of a single person who is organizing a socially-distanced community drum circle, for the purpose of connecting people again! In this way, people can begin to find their unique beat within the group rhythm. How else may we encourage our connections? What obstacles are we each facing, that prevent us from wanting that healing?

This offering is different from past, more informative articles; perhaps it is more personal, poetic, or preachy.  However, the individuals I treat have been greatly affected by these dynamics. This leads me to believe that every, single one of us has something to gain from depolarization. Feel free to share this blog link with anyone, who you feel may have feelings (one way or another) about it.  I am very open to your comments and questions and, until next time, have a Trauma Informed Week.  

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